Tell me the Truth!

There is one thing that people constantly do that just makes me crazy, they lie.
I catch them all the time, but I keep it to myself mostly, they get to defensive when confronted.
I understand a lie to protect someone. If a lie will save someone being upset over stupidity, or if it causes unnecessary hurt to tell the truth, lie.
If it makes your mom feel better to tell her you're fine, lie.
But don't lie to make yourself look better. Don't lie and make promises, you aren't going to keep. Don't try to make your mistakes look better by telling lies.
If I ask your opinion, I need the truth, or I wouldn't ask you. Don't gossip, in fact most gossip is based on cruel lies.
For me the truth is what makes you good to me. The truth even if it hurts me, is always better than a lie. I will eventually hear the truth, and I'll know you lied.
The problem with telling a lie is that your mind will forget it. The truth we always remember, a lie is often forgotten.
When my friend asked me what my biggest pet peeve is, this is what I told her. I told her I'd tell the world, so here it is my friend. I told you I don't lie.

Jealousy

I have to admit that when I have been listening to everyone talk I am jealous.

What a thrill it must be to meet all of those authors up on a pedestal above us. The ones who put romance books on the real books list. Far cry from the old dime store novels of years ago.

Someone sat near Nora Roberts, Beth Trissel, the same dynamo who was a runner up in the Golden Hearts award. The thrill must have had her heart going double time.
Mona Risk met friends from all over and hobnobbed with romance royalty. Dressed up in lovely gowns and feeling like princesses, they were part of the romance awards. And being there itself, was a prise.

Someday I'm gonna go to RWA Nationals, someday. Someday I will go on a FRW cruise. Yep, right there next to the best of ours I'll stand. Well maybe sit, I'll be in my 90's.
I'll be able to meet all of the people I have spent a fortune on buying their books.
And maybe, just maybe if I'm lucky. I will be a name somebody recognizes. Now wouldn't that be all of it, me the one hit wonder. Somebody will ask for my autograph, and I will be there in the picture smiling.

Wait I just woke up. I'll be fortunate if my editor wants my second book. Oh well, smacked by reality again. I will live even if I had only this one success. 'Tripping Through Time', my story will be published. That's an award in itself for me.

Publish Date and Jianne Carlo

Well I am getting closer to getting a publish date. I should know within the next two weeks when. I will be so glad to finally get it, and so hoping that it will sell. Time will tell, whether people want to take a trip through time with me or not. I wonder whether I should dye my hair for the occasion. Ha!

My friend Jianne Carlo just published her book. In the first two weeks she sold over 640 books. I am amazed, I know she is a fantastic writer, but how did everyone else know? There is now way I could match those figures. I am just in shock, and once they read it, Manacled in Monaco will be a new hit. I just feel it in my bones. Jianne is a beautiful, educated, petite, classy and motivated woman. I think she would be a success at whatever she wrote about, but this story is killer. There is so much sex, fantastic imagery, great dialogue, a riveting story in a romantic tropical setting; yes I'm saying it, this story rocks. Jianne reminds me what it was like when I was younger. How my heart beat when he drove up in front of my house. Those feelings all came back to me, and I remember the lust very well. Hmmm where is he?

Congratulations, to my friend and critique partner. I am so lucky to know you. You are a class act, and a great writer. I wish you the best.

No One Comments

I just got to thinking. Why do most people visit a site or a blog, spend time there, read, watch a trailer, whatever, they never leave a comment.
No one says, hey you stink, so if you do you don't know it. No one says, that was great, so if you were you don't know that either.
Is it fear, maybe, but...no they could go anonymous.
Maybe it's, they don't care.
Maybe no one reads your stuff.
Or could it be that people just think it's too much effort. Just that key stroke or two. What is it?
I make myself do it when I go to most blogs or sites, just because I know how much that person wants me to comment.
Am I nuts? Or do I care and no one else does. Tell me.
Why is it that no one comments.

Aging Parents

My poor older brother is the one who takes most of the brunt of family illness problems, he lives in the same town as my parents and two sisters. One lives with them she is a bit slow, but without her to be the gofer, my parents be lost. My other sister is disabled and has given up on life.

I don't know how many times my parent have called him at all hours. They don't want to call 911, they are afraid of the expense involved. They can well afford it, so I don't get it. They decided to call this time, luckily for my father or he would have bled to death. He is not in great shake, on dialysis due to kidney failure and has every other aging problem there is. Dialysis is rough on those who suffer it to stay alive.

Not only does he have to deal with all that. But he stopped at my sister's house to help with her pepsi addiction, (she was out of it), and found her passed out in her bedroom, he thought she was dead. Instant heart failure followed as he tried to wake her. She finally came around, the problem is over medication. She's given up and that's her whole life. Taking that pain medication.

I think that's what made my father give up too.
How do you get a stubborn man who refuses to get the help he needs, get that help?
We are going to try to talk to him. Me and my two brothers, since out of the six of us, there are only three of us who function independently.

How do you intimidate a man who has spent his whole life intimidating us, into doing the right thing? It's a conundrum.

My parents do not face reality. And unfortunately, they will have no choice.

Getting old is a scary thing. And I can't do a thing about that either.

Mary Stella and a free book for a donation

Mary Stella, a co-member of the Florida Romance Writers, FRW,is a wonderful author. She just got a shocker from our main group the Romance Writers of America, RWA. She won't be participating in a long anticipated book Literary book signing, in San Francisco.

They changed the qualifying rules, and got "uninvited", sadly her books were both published prior to 2007. Rather than brood, she has decided to make, "lemonade out of lemons".

Get a free book for a small donation to the Literary chapter in your area. $2, $5, $10, on up, whatever you can afford. After all it is about reading and the readers, in the end, that's all that matters. Get yourself a great book whose story is set in the Florida Keys, and is a contemporary romance.

You'll be getting a great book and doing a good thing.

Right?

Time Travel

So where would you go if you could travel in time? Would you like to meet a native American Indian, say in 1815? The settlers of this country were horrible to them. How about in a romance novel type of scene?

Maybe, or maybe not, depends on where in the US you are at the time. Is your idea of the best trip to go to the future. Say 2050, the world could be in a devastating depression, or we could be at the dawn of a new day. I guess that depends on whether we vote Republican or Democrat. What the heck happened to that social security surplus anyways?

I could go back and change a few mistakes I made, undo some things I would rather not have done or said. Would it change my life?

One time I had just stepped on a needle and it broke in my foot into five pieces, I guess those wooden Dr. Scholl's weren't a good idea. I was just out of the hospital, having to remove the needle pieces surgically. I felt like doo doo. Now mind you I had just sent in 800, yes 800, entries into a contest for $250,000, The Lucky Lady Sweepstakes. I had just answered four calls, which I had to crawl on the floor to get to the phone to answer. So this particular call I just answered,"I don't want any." Some guy said. "You don't want any. Are you sure?" Something along those lines. My firm yes and hang us settled that.

And then I got to thinking. About a week later I received in the mail three sets of second prises, two tickets to the movie. Now mind you there were only five second prise winners. So did I blow it or not? I will always wonder. It could have changed my life so much for the better. You just never know.
Moral of the story, wait and see who is on the phone before you dismiss them. Ha. Live and learn!

World Erotic Art Museum

Well not only did I get to see South Beach, which I have never seen, but I got to see the WEAM, the World Erotic Art Museum. A more unique collection of erotic art could not possibly exist. I saw things from 500 yrs BC, to the always lovely Marilyn Monroe. Definitely a place to see.
I was surprised at the quality of the artwork. Yes I did see Homer Simpson with an erection, but I also saw a number of wonderful things. I myself especially loved some of the nude paintings. Some of them were done with such emotion and beauty, I would love to have one for my living room.
Check it out in South Beach, and then walk along the beach and see people just as interesting and diversified.
We have a book signing panel event at the museum. The very first one I ever participated in and I am still here to tell about it. Whew, I made it!

My Secret Garden

I have some plant juice running in my veins, it's the only conclusion I could come to.
No matter where I am it's about the colors, feel the textures, and inhale the fragrance of flowers and foliage. The intricate weaving of just the right plant, (whatever I could afford at the time), made for a "fairyland effect", to quote a friend. From the ground cover, to the rare peach tree, to the many varieties of palms and ferns, the stepping stones,and statues below billowing wind chimes; they all take me to my secret place. I'm in my secret garden.
Butterflies hover over sub tropical blooms, Jasmine blooms while chameleons run through the glossy leaves of the banana plants. A slight gust of wind cools my corner of the myriad of sensual overload.
I sit. Inhaling the perfume of the garden, I put the one thing in my hand that only makes this moment perfect. A good romance book.

My Reincarnated Dog.

Whenever I am upset, my dog knows. Even if I do not show it he knows. He will come and lay near me, his huge, heavy, black head resting on my foot, the contact comforting. His loving eyes follow me where ever I go, loving me unconditionally. He trust that when he is hurt I will fix it, when he is hungry I will feed him, let him out when he has to go out, and take him for a ride in the car.
All I have to do is say, "Do you want to go for a ride?", and he quivers with anxiousness, leash in his mouth. Or maybe I might say,"Do you want to go swimming?", he's at the back door, floating toy clutched between huge teeth, squeaking that toy for all he's worth. I ask if he wants to eat, and he will bring me his dish. Tell him to get up on the bed, he's there. He is so smart it's scary. It's almost like he is a reincarnated human.
He loves cats and has a healthy respect for their claws, but when he sees one in the yard he will chase it. He especially loves little dogs, and when he is too overpowering and they let him know, he backs away. He will not fight with other dogs, he is a pacifist.
When I cry, he comforts me. He tries to give me a toy, that ought to do it. And if nothing else works he kisses me and gives me doggy hugs. It's that real love that I see in his adoring eyes, and I love him back, more than anything. Sometimes more then that husband who might have made me cry. He's the baby I never had. If anyone had told me my children would be huge German Shepherds, I'd have laughed. But there it is, he's the best friend I've got. He loves me no matter how bad I look, no matter how dumb I might sound, no matter what mistakes I make. He loves me, he is devoted to me, and I love him. The saddest part of the whole thing is that I will outlive him, just like I have his predecessors.
But for me I'll take that pain and live with it. The alternative is unthinkable.
I just hope that when I die, I have been as good as he has, so that I can see him, and all the others, in heaven. That has to be where he will go and I want to meet the pack I have lost someday.
Now that would be heaven wouldn't it?

Giving Advice

My husband and I are both very sympathetic people. We've had a lot of hurdles to cross and we are both aware how hard life can be. I feel like a phone psychiatrist, however.
I listen to people say the same things over and over, and I try to offer advice.

Chris' friend who lives in Texas just bought a house. Later on he learned that the house had a huge fire and a lot of damage was just covered up and not fixed. Well his $200,000 home is now worth $50,0000. Chris has talked to him on Skype dozens of times. He offers advice, his friend does not listen. He meets a stranger who he discusses his problem with, and that person gives him the same advice. And now he listens. What's up with that?
I think that friends don't want your advice. They just want a shoulder to cry on. Trouble is that when you know what they are doing wrong and they won't listen, it drives you crazy. So what does a good friend do.

I think you have to swallow your comments and listen. And let me tell you, listening, just plain listening, is an art. It can be a pain, but it's an art. It hopefully pays you back, when that friend listens to you.

My Big Black German Shepherd Dog

Junior is a big boy. He weighs about 125lbs or so. He takes up a very big portion of the bed. Every night he gets up on the bed and waits for his biscuits, one handful leads to two. All he does to tell me he wants more is to kick me with his back foot and whine a bit. Now who would have thought I would be catering to a big baby dog at my age.
He's very bossy, if the phone rings he gets agitated, he hates the phone and barks until you're off. I've had to leave the room. If it's time for dinner, hes at the his dish giving me the "well", look.
But mostly he's sensitive. If I cry he puts his head in my lap. He always shares my pain. And in doing so he makes me feel better. That's why God gave us dogs. To take up room on the bed, to keep you going with demands, and best of all to love. Because he loves me no matter what. How often can you say that and be positive you're right.
Do you have an animal you love, and why? What's so special about your pet?

Trailers

Well I really think I have the perfect trailer. People have commented on both the website and the music for the trailer, as well as the trailer. I will be posting the trailer in about a week. If there is anyone out there in space. Please take a look and see. Tell me what you think of both.
Then as soon as it comes out, buy my book, tell then what you think. I can take it.

A lot of people are going on vacation, spending all they planned to buy good stuff with. The candle money is now in your tank. Imagine that.

Today

Today I got my canary to go on my finger. Now those of you who don't have a canary or have never had one, don't know how hard a feat that is. Canaries are so skid-dish, they are really scared to be touched. You can train them, but why bother, it's hard and they do all the work they need to when they sing. It's soul stirring, moving, and beautiful enough to make you cry, when you hear it.
Now he is a male or he wouldn't be singing. But he has taken to sitting in his food dish like he's sitting on a nest. He goes into a zone and actually lets me touch him. His little beak tries to bite my skin, to no avail. But he's acting tough. I just push my finger underneath him, till he jumps on my finger. He'll sit there a minute and then realizes where he is. He flies off to a perch.
And me I get my thrill for a day. I have my canary, who speaks to me, and asks me to take the top off his food dish,(actually quite bossy), so he can use it as a bed. He sings to me, , he sits on my finger, he makes me forget the day is bad, and remember the beauty of nature in his big voice. And he eats a lot of food, producing a lot of, well you know.
I have my canary and he sings to me, just me, that's so special.

Here I am world.

Yes, here I am world. Wondering if anyone is really reading this. Wondering if I'm talking to air.

I have just published my first book! Now to me it's like this. I have no children, sadly, our lives just didn't go that way. Not that it wouldn't have been wonderful.
So I sat and thought, why was I born, what have I done or could do, to make a wave in this ocean of life? I really have not got enough talent at anything. I've got a little bit of the ability to do a lot of things. But real talent?

What could I do to leave a piece behind? I've always liked to write. Just most of what I've written has been disposed of. I've read thousands of book, from fantasy to romance. Right now I'm into time travel romance, I love it.

So I started to write, mostly late at night. In one of those black and white composition books.

Eventually I got a computer, and after slowing writing and rewriting for four years I got to submit to an editor. I'll tell you how hard that is at another time.

After changing even more things in the book, a lot more things. I got an offer to publish my story.

I still have not celebrated, imagine that. I haven't even done the happy dance.
The only thing I can think is that I'm so shocked anyone liked what I wrote, read it, and wants to publish it. That I cannot believe it.

Maybe someone else did it. Whoever it was please step forward, I need to know. I remember doing it, but I could have dreamt it.

It's a time travel romance, and it's very good, even if I do say so myself. That person inside me, trying to get out, is still there. I hope that all of me learns to believe in me, in this venue. Just think what I could accomplish then.

And someday, years from now, someone will know I lived and I could write. I won't just have been a feather in the wind, but rather a force.

Wouldn't that be great?

What and When

I wonder what will happen in the next ten years. As I look in the mirror and see the changes. But they don't reflect the changes in my soul.
Am I a better person than I was ten years ago. God I hope so.
A smarter person, I think so.
More sensitive, I know so. When I see the changes I know what I am. Just a person like anyone else.
But if I'm really lucky, I can do something that leaves people to remember me fondly.
Even if it's just because they read my book.

Tonight I Wonder

Tonight I wonder. I wonder if anyone will buy my book and read it. And then really love it. I wonder if Chris can save the huge avocado in my yard. He finds it infested with ants, they have dug a huge hole in the side where a large branch was removed. First he removed my large beautiful stag horn fern growing on the side of the tree. I had to leave. Hence the I wonder thing.

I wonder if my car air conditioner is too expensive to fix. Or for that matter the steering. I wonder if my twenty five year old house a.c. will last much longer. Or my dishwasher, refrigerator etc. I wonder if it will rain tomorrow. My lawn is so dead. I also think, please God no more hurricanes, I can't take it, I have no shutters! And the lack of electricity in the heat is the worst of it. A couple of storms is okay, but please no hurricanes.

Then my mind travels to clothes. I never buy clothes so I don't have any. How the heck can I go to a book signing at an Erotic Museum with no decent clothes. They'll think I'm a slob. And what the heck am I doing going to a book signing at an erotic museum in the first place. Oh well, I'll check out the art anyways.

When is motivation going to hit me and I can start pumping out pages? I wonder. Even ten a day. What's wrong with me? How come I'm not smart enough to promote like everyone else? It takes me all day to read all the mail. Well I goof off a lot. You know this leads to that, and you have dog fir all over the place that needs to be cleaned up.

This is what I do at night when I should be sleeping. My mind races with the thoughts I keep out of my head all day. What does that leave me! I wonder.

Reading, ah yes...reading. I pick up where I left off in that mind distracting novel I have dived into. Then tomorrow I'll write, because reading reminds me what it's all about. Reading takes me away from those problems I don't want to think about. Who said escape is bad. Not this kind. It's a miracle.

What do you think?

Well Here I Am

Well if things work out right I am posting on my very own blog. Now that might not seem like a big deal to you. But if I told you that three years ago I didn't know how to turn on a computer, you'll get why it's a big deal. That I had to be dragged into this kicking and screaming should go for something. It got to me however, when I realized that typing it on a typewriter just wouldn't cut it. How did they ever do it before typewriters, the thought is mind boggling.
It all started when I took a look at me, my life, my goals, and decided to redefine them. I had come to a point where I wanted to prove something to myself, just myself. That I could do this. That I could write a book. I have been writing my whole life, and throwing it all away. I thought maybe it isn't all that bad. Maybe I could write a book that someone else would like to read. That someone else might enjoy, might pass it along and someone might even buy it! Wouldn't that prove that I had talent. Wouldn't that prove that I could be proud of something I had accomplished. I decided it would, because it would make me an author. Something I have always wanted to be, and never had the courage to try to do.
Tripping Through Time is the culmination of my efforts, the changes and rewrites only made me more sure I could do it. I watched my story grow from idea to story and I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you all will read my book, and enjoy it. I hope it entertains you and I hope it takes you away for awhile. Just a little while forget your troubles and read.
In the meantime, I'll let you know my release date as soon as I do.
Thanks for listening, and happy reading.