Why Men Are Never Depressed

I had a discussion with my cousin recently, he explained why he never seems to worry. Why things don't get to him. Why he never lets thing bother him. Here's what he had to say.

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $3500 Tux rental-$75. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $3.99 for a three-pack. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

No that's not my cousin. Too bad huh? Because it makes me feel better to look at him.

More smiles for you all!

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION ... 10 MILES



He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION ... 5 MILES Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION ... NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.



The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:



GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

Next One:


"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

A good book

A good book can make you feel better. It can help you to file your problems into the back of your head, it can give you a break, if only for awhile. A good book can take you to places you will never otherwise go, to see in your mind through imagery, those things which you would never otherwise see. Stories introduce you to new people, through which you can learn, with whom you can commiserate. New planets, far away galaxies are right in the same room with you. Ideas which you never thought of zoom through your mind. Learn how to handle new situations, or new problems in the pages of a book. Dogs, cats, horses, and even tigers and lions, find a way into your heart. Sad things, happy things, funny things, reading can take you through a myriad of emotions. Teach yourself new ideas, new knowledge is a gift. Or you can even fall in love with romance. Do yourself the kindest of favors.

Read, read, and read some more. You'll be glad you did.