Thoughts For A Long Weekend and Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

Have a great weekend and here's some thoughts for us to consider.


Words to live by
1.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.
In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2.
Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3.
No one is listening until you fart.

4.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away
and you have their shoes.

8.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10.
If you lend someone 20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

13.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14.
Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19.
We are born naked, wet and hungry, get slapped on our arse ... then things just keep getting worse.

20.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Enjoy the eye candy.

Sharon Donovan and Mask of the Betrayer

MASK OF THE BETRAYER

Sharon Donovan

AVAILABLE NOW!

Whimsical Publications, LLC


Fiction-Psychological thriller/suspense Whimsical Publications, LLC/paperback 282 pages April 2010 $13.95
ISBN-13: 978-1-936167-06-7

When the whispers in the night, the whispers of her lover, are the whispers of a killer, will Margot escape before she becomes the next victim? Deep in the foothills of Red Rock Canyon, a serial killer stalks. He leaves his signature—a skull mask on the corpse. But when the homicide cop realizes the crimes are the reenactment of a case never solved ten years ago--all fingers point to Michael DeVeccio. And when Margot realizes she is married to the killer, her life becomes a living nightmare. Suspecting her affair with Carlos, he had surveillance equipment installed all over the mansion. Once he showed her the very graphic video of her and his uncle going at it in the satin-lined coffin, he’d used it to his advantage. Michael suspected his uncle knew more about his parents’ accident than he’d let on, but couldn’t prove a thing. Desperate to uncover the truth, Michael blackmailed Candace into getting Carlos to confess on tape. If she failed, she’d be killed. Stuck between a rock and a hard spot, Candace had done things to the old coot that disgusted even her. But those things had made the old man sing like a canary and the taped confession had saved her life. After her mission was a done deal, Michael kicked her out of Vegas and told her if she ever returned, he would rip her lungs out. Reaching Carlos DeVeccio’s bedroom, she got a little thrill as old memories surfaced. Just a few more seconds and she’d fall into the arms of her lover. She smiled to herself. She had returned to Vegas for a reason. She was flat broke. But after tonight, Michael would be her ticket back into the world of luxury. Then she’d be mistress of the manor once more. And more to the point, she’d have access to his billion dollar bank roll. With a devious smile, she pushed her way through the heavy mahogany door. Crossing the threshold, she entered the house of horrors. Carlos DeVeccio had been a real nut, one straight out of the books. But with her fetish for face masks, she loved his collection and had often come into his wing just to admire them. What a thrill it had been to have sex in the coffin, howling along with the werewolf. Some might think it a bit kinky, but they didn’t know what they were missing. Calling out to her lover, her pulse quickened a beat. “Michael? Are you here yet, darling?”  That’s when she heard it, manic laughter from the final circle of hell. A slither of fear trickled down her spine, releasing a wild rush of adrenaline. Carlos? She thought about the death of Lacy Diamond. Two Ninja assassinations were no coincidence. Sensing danger, she felt for her sword. It was gone. Panic soared through her. Where the hell was it? The laughter got louder and louder, moving in closer and closer. It seemed to be bouncing off the walls. She couldn’t tell from which direction it was coming. Just then, the bell in the tower gonged, thundering off the walls like canon balls. Instinctively,she covered her ears with her hands. Where the hell was Michael? Evil eyes from the face masks followed her every move. She had to escape this hell before it was too late. She couldn’t think over the gonging of the bell. Every few seconds, the werewolf howled at the moon. She screamed, even though she knew no one would ever hear her. Floundering in wild disarray, disoriented by the darkness and relentless gonging, she searched in vain for the door. Her arms swam in mid-air, like a person drowning, desperate for an anchor, something to hold onto. She reached out and grabbed at nothing. She had to find a way out of this mausoleum of the living dead before it was too late. Where the hell was Michael? The laughter got closer. Perspiration drenched her skin. The chilling laughter echoed in her ears, louder and louder, closer and closer. The bell in the bell tower broke through the thin filament of sanity she had left. The werewolf open his mouth and howled at the moon. Where was Michael? He’d know what to do. He was a master swordsman. His fencing skills were extraordinary. He could wield a Ninja star with his eyes closed and hit the mark. Where was he? Blood thundered in her ears, but not loud enough to block out the manic laughter. It was close but she couldn’t see a thing. She wished she had her sword. She turned to run; it was too late. She heard a distinct click. The killer had just depressed the button on her Zorro sword, releasing the thirty-seven inch blade. His psychotic laughter reached an ear-splitting crescendo just as the bell in the tower gonged out its last chime. From the dark shadows, Valentino pounced, her Zorro sword gleaming in the moonlight. “Surprise!” he thrust the sword into her heart. “I promised to make you scream, darling Candace. Let me hear you scream.”

BUY LINK:

http://www.whimsicalpublications.com/sharon_donovan/mask_of_the_betrayer.html

print and ebook once it's available:

http://www.whimsicalpublications.com/books.html

Daddy Loves Everything About His Little Girl!

Can you see three animals in this picture?


Hi everyone, j
just wanted to make you laugh and remember when your kids were this young.
I laughed at this one. I could just as easily done it. And yes, ugh!
But daddy loves his little girl and he never woulda thought it!

This one is for everyone who...
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.
I guess that means all of us!!



DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a

wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' ,

and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,
'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,' pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed

staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my booger?'

If that ain't unconditional love, I don't know what is!
Hope you laughed. That's the idea.

I couldn't resist. I wish you all have your dreams come true and you are able to smile through what it takes to get there!

Rules to Live By

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'. 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Yes, I Love Funny Stories! And This Is Funny!

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace... The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

My New Outlook On Life

The first thing you have to do is remove all negativity from your mind. Yep, every bit of it. Even if it ain't yours let it go!



Avoid things that confuse you.



Share good fortune with your friends.



Heed the warning signs.



Be courageous and don't be afraid to try new things.



Enjoy your friends.



Be kind and life will be kind to you.



Remember, you make your own happiness! But, you can make those around you happy. Oh and dance while you still can!

Friends. What would we do without them.

Ah yes, today I write about friends. A friend will always be there for you.


A friend doesn't care what you look like.

Friends make you laugh.



Friends mean everything.


AR&T love you.
My best friend died recently of brain cancer and my heart broke. All I have now is memories and thoughts of what might be, that never will.
She was proud. I wonder if it had to do with her Indian heritage. She was strong and she was weak too. Gosh I miss her.

Peggy and me. But I have made a lot of friends through writing. Publishing a book gave me so much more than a book. It gave me a new outlook on life. Because now I have so many new friends my heart is overwhelmed. And I thank the powers that are every day for this new gift. Love you guys. Each and every one of you.

Laugh and You'll Write Better!

So are you ready for a little chuckle. A touch of humor?


So how is your sense of humor?

THE
> OLD MOTOR
> The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the
> town.
>
> After being married a year, the couple went to the
> hospital for the birth
> of their first child.
>
> The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to
> congratulate the old
> gentleman and said,
>
> 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
>
> The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> The following year, the couple returned to the
> hospital for the birth of
> their second child.
>
> The same nurse was attending the delivery
> and again went out to
> congratulate the old gentleman.
>
> She said, 'Sir, you are something! How do you manage
> it?'
>
> The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the
> birth of their third
> child.
>
> The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the
> delivery, she once
> again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said,
> 'Well, you surely are
> something awesome! How do you do it?'
>
> The old man replied, 'It's like I've told you
> before, you gotta keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said:
> Well, I guess it's
> time to change the oil. This one is black!'


One last thought, take it to the bank.

One for each of you who comments! Choose by first in line.

Do You Drink?

Who doesn't come home from a hard day at work and want to sit down to a cold one?


Maybe you like something a bit stronger?



Although I suggest if you are going to have more than a few do it at home, or this could you.



Or this...shameful!



You'd be surprised at who likes a drink or two.



You go out to meet someone and hope for the best.





Just remember you could end up like this.

Public Speaking

I have been working on my second book feverishly. I still have a ways to go. I'm not yet happy.


This one is so different than the first, even though it's one of a series. Here's a slight clue. It's called Burned Into Time. That's a biggie right there! My heroine gets burned into time!

But I am taking a break to talk about speaking in public.
Yes, this is a big problem for me, and it might be one for many of you. My fear of being in front of people has put a damper on a lot of things. I freeze and have to plug myself back in for a few seconds. Deep inside the words are trying to emerge.


I have great fear that something like this will happen!



Shell shocked I will sit there and try to read the words or even remember what I am doing there! The anti nerve pills ain't working and your stomach has a fire breathing dragon in it.
With a force that comes from who knows where takes over, like an alien, I push myself to say the words. Bluemberglst? Yeah that makes sense. And I remember what one of my FRW friends said to me. Picture them naked. Ha! that just might work.



One thing I can be sure of is that no matter how badly I do, Traci will tell me I did great!
Friends well



Yeah, that's exactly what I need to say!