More jokes from my cousin Dave

I will be back on July 1st. Everyone stay save, have fun, and be healthy. I am gonna go to Ela, North Carolina, in the Great Smokey Mountains. When I first drove through the mountains it was very easy to see why they call it that. I hope that I can sit in peace, read and write. Keep laughing it makes you feel a whole lot better. Be back soon!


Different Ways of Looking at Things:
> >
> >> Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and
> >> family values.
> >>
> >> Stu said, 'I
> >> didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
> >>
> >> Leroy replied,
> >> 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
> >> ---------------------------------------------------------
> >>
> >>
> >> 'Mr. Clark,
> >> I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge
> >> said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
> >>
> >> 'That's
> >> very fair, your honor,' the husband said, 'and every now and then I'll
> >> try to send her a few bucks myself.'
> >> ---------------------------------------------------------
> >> A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
> >> took her husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife
> >> at all.'
> >>
> >> 'Me neither
> >> doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and she's really good
> >> with the kids.'
> >> -----------------------------------------------------------
> >> An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he
> >> has been living with for the last 40 years.
> >>
> >>
> >> The Wizard says,
> >> 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to
> >> put the curse on you.'
> >>
> >> The old man says
> >> without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
> >> ----------------------------------------------------------
> >> A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long
> >> it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
> >>
> >> The agent
> >> replies, 'Just a minute...'
> >>
> >> 'Thank
> >> you.' The blonde says and hangs up.
> >> ----------------------------------------------------------
> >>
> >>
> >> Moe: 'My
> >> wife got me to believe in religion.'
> >> Joe:
> >> 'Really?'
> >> Moe: 'Yeah.
> >> Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
> >> ----------------------------------------------------------
> >> A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and
> >> asks him how he is feeling.
> >> 'I'm OK, but I
> >> didn't like the four letter words the doctor used in surgery,' he
> >> answered.
> >> 'What did he
> >> say,' asked the nurse.
> >> 'Oops!'
> >> -----------------------------------------------------------
> >> While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
> >> of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds
> >> since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my
> >> husband's advice.
> >> 'What do you
> >> think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
> >> 'Better get
> >> a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
> >> He's still
> >> in intensive care.
> >> -----------------------------------------------------------------
> >>
> >> The graveside
> >> service had just barely finished, when there was massive clap of
> >> thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by
> >> even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
> >> The little old
> >> man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there!'

A little more laughter and good vibes!

Prayer for my daddy

"Dear God. This year for Christmas, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer, Amen."

This is one of the most interesting signs I have been informed about.

Sign in an INDIANA
store front window:

We WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000

AL
QAEDA TERRORISTS,

Than WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!'

READ ON DON'T QUIT.

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Whiting, Indiana.
You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory
statement.
However, we are a society which holds freedom of Speech as perhaps our
greatest liberty.
And after all, it is just a sign.
You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign.

Answer:

Owen's Funeral Home

You
gotta love it!!!

Have a good one everyone, I will be back on July 1st, enjoy life and stay safe!