Friday, September 25, 2009

Just A Quiet Day


In October I go to North Carolina and when I sit on the porch I will be looking at wonderful view of the mountains, while I smell the earthy, woodsy odor of the forest, and the sweet smell of wild flowers. The country is so much better than the city.
It raises me up. It makes me calm and happier to be there. The leaves will be changing, and the nights will be cool.

Then my cousin sends me a joke and I remember to laugh a little too. It don't get
any better than that.

Four Worms and a Lesson to be learned
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars..
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
The Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil -Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation What did you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service

Then we decided to take the worm to North Carolina. Last I saw it, it was making tracks toward a nice pile of dirt. Do worms smile? I coulda sworn...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Author Roast and Toast On Friday 9/25!


Don't forget to go to http://authorroastandtoast.blogspot.com on Friday, 9/25. We are roasting and toasting Kat Henry Doran and having a great time doing it.
Sharon's butler, Oliver, is polishing glasses, making hor d'oeuvres, and just got back from having a facial, hair styling, and waxing. He wants to look his best. I hope he is not wearing that loincloth again this week.
Junior is thoroughly searching the property for places where the paparazzi might try to take pictures.
Cuddles is in the air and comes down to magically touch the areas that Junior barks at. Instantly the fences are repaired and the thin areas of the hedges are fixed.
Lyn is sending out reminders and Sharon is setting out the martini and other drink fixins.
Welcome to anyone who wants to make a comment or tease the heck out of Kat. That is your mission. This is your opportunity, use it. That is exactly what we want you to do. What's the word? Outwit, out comment, out last, hey Kat's book is out!
If you want to have fun, if you want to join in some wonderful fun . Come by anytime from 10:00am on to well past 5:00pm when everyone gets home from work.
We are ready. Come and get Kat!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ha! It feels good to Laugh Out Loud

No this is not my DH but he wouldn't pose for me so I had to use this picture. The purpose of this picture is to make you stop and look at my blog.
First I offer you a hot looking guy, then I pass along some jokes.

But I would also like to mention that I am still on cloud nine. After getting a great review from You Gotta Read Reviewers, I am up there. I don't think I am gonna come down for awhile. It's nice on this cloud. I've never been here before.

I'd also like to mention that this Friday The Author Roast and Toast blog will be roasting Kat Henry Doran. Please drop by and make a comment. Tease and cajole Kat and spend the day laughing with other authors and your roasting hostess's.
Looking forward to meeting you all there. Ten in the morning till we are too exhausted to type. It's fun! http://authorroastandtoast.blogspot.com



Marriage Humor


Wife:
'What are you doing?'

Husband:
Nothing.

Wife:
'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband:
'I was looking for the expiration date.'

-------------------------------


Wife
: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband:
'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife:
'Yes or no.'

____________________

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'

Hubby:
'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife:
'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby:
'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

--------------------------------------------------------


Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy:
'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl:
'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------


Son:
'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom:
'Well, you have done the right thing..'

Son:
'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________


A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'


'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


------------------------------------------------------------


Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.


The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'


-------------------------------


A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'


He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'



Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the
head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Sally on
it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Sally was the name
of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Why Men Are Never Depressed


I had a discussion with my cousin recently, he explained why he never seems to worry. Why things don't get to him. Why he never lets thing bother him. Here's what he had to say.

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $3500 Tux rental-$75. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $3.99 for a three-pack. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

No that's not my cousin. Too bad huh? Because it makes me feel better to look at him.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Flu Advise For Us All


If you wake up looking like this!




Don't go to work!


Looks Like you might have the flu.