Wednesday, April 8, 2009

You all need to laugh more!

Being happy is a choice, so is laughter, smiles and pleasant attitudes.
Choose wisely! MCMR

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

This really works...!
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

Bail Out According to Maxine

"BAIL EM OUT! ????
Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey!"

stress (stres) n. A condition. When a person's mind overcomes the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who desperately deserves it.

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,

and all the patients were shouting, 13.... 13... 13.

The fence was too high to see over,

but I saw a little gap in the planks

and looked through to see what was going on.

Some jerk poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting, 14... 14... 14.