Monday, June 30, 2008

Giving Advice

My husband and I are both very sympathetic people. We've had a lot of hurdles to cross and we are both aware how hard life can be. I feel like a phone psychiatrist, however.
I listen to people say the same things over and over, and I try to offer advice.

Chris' friend who lives in Texas just bought a house. Later on he learned that the house had a huge fire and a lot of damage was just covered up and not fixed. Well his $200,000 home is now worth $50,0000. Chris has talked to him on Skype dozens of times. He offers advice, his friend does not listen. He meets a stranger who he discusses his problem with, and that person gives him the same advice. And now he listens. What's up with that?
I think that friends don't want your advice. They just want a shoulder to cry on. Trouble is that when you know what they are doing wrong and they won't listen, it drives you crazy. So what does a good friend do.

I think you have to swallow your comments and listen. And let me tell you, listening, just plain listening, is an art. It can be a pain, but it's an art. It hopefully pays you back, when that friend listens to you.


  1. I am sorry to hear about your friend. However, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Feel good at least knowing you provided him with the water.

    When you hear of other peoples' hardships, it makes you realize your life isn't that bad afterall.

  2. And life goes on. Thanks for commenting.

  3. Mary, I think you're right. When people ask for your advice, most times what they're really asking for is validation on what they've already decided to do.