Tonight I wonder. I wonder if anyone will buy my book and read it. And then really love it. I wonder if Chris can save the huge avocado in my yard. He finds it infested with ants, they have dug a huge hole in the side where a large branch was removed. First he removed my large beautiful stag horn fern growing on the side of the tree. I had to leave. Hence the I wonder thing.
I wonder if my car air conditioner is too expensive to fix. Or for that matter the steering. I wonder if my twenty five year old house a.c. will last much longer. Or my dishwasher, refrigerator etc. I wonder if it will rain tomorrow. My lawn is so dead. I also think, please God no more hurricanes, I can't take it, I have no shutters! And the lack of electricity in the heat is the worst of it. A couple of storms is okay, but please no hurricanes.
Then my mind travels to clothes. I never buy clothes so I don't have any. How the heck can I go to a book signing at an Erotic Museum with no decent clothes. They'll think I'm a slob. And what the heck am I doing going to a book signing at an erotic museum in the first place. Oh well, I'll check out the art anyways.
When is motivation going to hit me and I can start pumping out pages? I wonder. Even ten a day. What's wrong with me? How come I'm not smart enough to promote like everyone else? It takes me all day to read all the mail. Well I goof off a lot. You know this leads to that, and you have dog fir all over the place that needs to be cleaned up.
This is what I do at night when I should be sleeping. My mind races with the thoughts I keep out of my head all day. What does that leave me! I wonder.
Reading, ah yes...reading. I pick up where I left off in that mind distracting novel I have dived into. Then tomorrow I'll write, because reading reminds me what it's all about. Reading takes me away from those problems I don't want to think about. Who said escape is bad. Not this kind. It's a miracle.
What do you think?