Tonight I wonder. I wonder if anyone will buy my book and read it. And then really love it. I wonder if Chris can save the huge avocado in my yard. He finds it infested with ants, they have dug a huge hole in the side where a large branch was removed. First he removed my large beautiful stag horn fern growing on the side of the tree. I had to leave. Hence the I wonder thing.
I wonder if my car air conditioner is too expensive to fix. Or for that matter the steering. I wonder if my twenty five year old house a.c. will last much longer. Or my dishwasher, refrigerator etc. I wonder if it will rain tomorrow. My lawn is so dead. I also think, please God no more hurricanes, I can't take it, I have no shutters! And the lack of electricity in the heat is the worst of it. A couple of storms is okay, but please no hurricanes.
Then my mind travels to clothes. I never buy clothes so I don't have any. How the heck can I go to a book signing at an Erotic Museum with no decent clothes. They'll think I'm a slob. And what the heck am I doing going to a book signing at an erotic museum in the first place. Oh well, I'll check out the art anyways.
When is motivation going to hit me and I can start pumping out pages? I wonder. Even ten a day. What's wrong with me? How come I'm not smart enough to promote like everyone else? It takes me all day to read all the mail. Well I goof off a lot. You know this leads to that, and you have dog fir all over the place that needs to be cleaned up.
This is what I do at night when I should be sleeping. My mind races with the thoughts I keep out of my head all day. What does that leave me! I wonder.
Reading, ah yes...reading. I pick up where I left off in that mind distracting novel I have dived into. Then tomorrow I'll write, because reading reminds me what it's all about. Reading takes me away from those problems I don't want to think about. Who said escape is bad. Not this kind. It's a miracle.
What do you think?
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LOL, Mary.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is honest, heartwarming, and humorous. You point out concerns that many of us share but never take the time to admit. You have climbed a mountain and actively taken charge of your life and goals, so you must never forget that. And yes! years from now someone will pick up your books and whisper your name on their lips, then lose themselves in your endearing stories.
You have done it! You have gotten yourself out there for all the world to see. And know that people are reading your thoughts, though not particularly commenting on them. So many of us mirror them yet don't voice them. But by your voicing them you give others the gift of knowing they are not alone.
Shar