I've been bad!

Sorry for being away so long. I am having a new website designed. So bear with me! And try not to forget me!

Here are some interesting things-Who comes up with this stuff?

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
 He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into
it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

17.  A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says
'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at
least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Microwaving  Water! A  26-year old man decided to have a  cup  of coffee. He took a  cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat  it up (something that he had done numerous times  before). I am not sure how long he set the timer  for, but he wanted to bring the water to a boil.  When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the  cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he  noted that the water was not boiling, but  suddenly the water in the cup 'blew up' into his  face. The cup remained intact until he threw it  out of his hand, but all the water had flown out  into his face due to the build-up of energy . His  whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd  degree burns to his face which may leave  scarring. He also may have lost partial  sight in his left eye. While at the hospital,  the doctor who was attending to him stated that  this is a fairly common occurrence and water  (alone) should never be heated in a  microwave  oven. If water  is heated in this manner, something should be  placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as  a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc, (nothing  metal). General  Electric's Response: Thanks  for contacting us; I will be happy to assist  you. The e-mail that you received is correct.  Microwaved water and other liquids do not always  bubble when they reach boiling point. They can  actually get superheated and not bubble at all.  The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the  cup when it is moved or when something like a  spoon or tea bag is put into it. To  prevent this from happening and causing injury,  do not heat any liquid for more than  two minutes per cup. After heating, let  the cup stand in the microwave for thirty  seconds before moving it or adding anything  into it. Here is what a local high school  science teacher had to say on the matter:  'Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen  this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon  known as super heating. It can occur any time  water is heated and will particularly  occur if the vessel that the water is heated  in is new, or when heating a small amount of  water (less than half a cup). What  happens is that the water heats faster than the  vapor bubbles can form. If the cup is very new,  then it is unlikely to have small surface  scratches inside it that provide a place for the  bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and  release some of the heat that has built up, the  liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues  to heat up well past its boiling  point. What then usually happens is that  the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just  enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to  rapidly form and expel the hot liquid. The rapid  formation of bubbles is also why a carbonated  beverage spews when opened  after  having  been shaken. If  you pass this on, you could  very well save someone from a lot of pain and  suffering.                 QUOTE OF THE DAY And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round.....and laughed and laughed and laughed....